Is there anything that gets us in more trouble than our tongue? All of us from time to time say things that we immediately realize we should have never said. Can you recall the sense of panic at that moment when you realized there was no turning back from the ugliness that came out of your mouth? Hopefully for you, those moments are few. But for others the inability to control what comes out of their mouths is a constant issue. And nowhere do we see this more than in marriage. In fact, in many marriages hurtful words are more the norm.
Couples have forgotten what it is like to interact with each other in a healthy manner. This of course leads to not only poor communication but more importantly destructive and hurtful arguments. So what is the answer for those couple who find themselves daily in the same negative pattern that they can’t seem to escape from? Simple. Slow everything down.
Most of the time when we say the wrong thing it is because we are being “reactive” to the situation we are facing instead of being “responsive”. This leads us to respond to our spouse emotionally rather than logically. By slowing things down and evaluating what is really taking place it affords us the opportunity to respond less emotionally therefore breaking the argumentative cycle. It allows for us to process what our spouse said as opposed to simply reacting to what we believe is their attempt to offend us.